Jason Thames Fiction

Tabitha is a very early short story I wrote a number of years ago for a fiction writing class at my junior college. It’s quite rough around the edges, but it showcases some themes that I have been obsessed with over the years. It will need a lot of work before it can be published, but I’ve decided to post it here in its current form:

Justin sat running his fingers through the soft, supple gray fur of his new tabby cat. His rental agreement forbade the habitation of pets of any kind in the apartment complex so he had to settle for a virtual pet. The simulation was incredibly realistic, and he had learned very quickly just how much he needed a companion. Real or virtual.

At work he’d been sitting in his cubicle, daydreaming about his time with his cat as he watched the clock tick down to the end of his shift.

“Mr. Carpenter,” came a voice over his shoulder. “You’ve still got fifteen minutes on your shift. Surely that’s enough time to make another call.”

Justin had turned to see his boss, Caroline, standing over him with a disapproving look on her face. Her shoulders hunched forward, her neck protruding like a vulture’s. Her nose an approximation of a flesh tearing beak. She spent the lion’s share of her days trying to catch him slipping up and he expected that many of his co-workers were in on it too.

He’d thrown her a weak smile and spun his chair back around as he activated his headset, brought up a case file, dialed a number.

Justin always hated making calls that close to the end of his shift. Most of the time there was little that he could effectively do for the customer on the other end of the line, besides offering some platitudes and promising to follow up more fully the next day. More often than not, he would find a customer who was just getting home from work, had tossed off their shoes, and was looking to tell him every excruciating detail of their pitiful day.

He’d checked the consumer profile of the customer and dialed in an appropriate appearance. A woman with short brown hair and a round face. The customer reacted well with customer representatives who took on a similar avatar. The voice distortion program took care of the audio portion of the facade.

Thankfully the customer had been just as eager as he was to get off of the phone, releasing him from all of the annoying sounds and the bothersome odors that came with working in an office with any number of people with questionable hygienic standards. Justin spent a significant portion of his time trying to wash their filth away.

When he’d arrived home, he translated into the network almost immediately.

It was so easy these days. In the past people had to wear goggles and glasses to get the desired immersion. Nowadays it was a simple procedure to get the required hardware implanted and integrated into the brain and central nervous system. The implant interfaced wirelessly with a central processing device that generated a virtual environment. Once connected, the operator was immersed in a simulation that was virtually indistinguishable from reality.

Justin had taken time to painstakingly recreate his apartment in the virtual space. It only took a little saving before he was able to afford the tabby cat sim. He’d tracked down a program from a Russian software firm. The sim itself was much cheaper than competing software programs, but user reviews promised that the value proposition was unparalleled. As he sat down petting Tabitha, he had no regrets.

He spoke to her softly as she purred.

“I thought I’d never be home. They hate me Tabitha, every one of them.”

Tabitha looked up at him and mewed.

“It’s so hard not to scream at them all. To quit and be done with all of them. Wouldn’t that be great? To never have Caroline breathing down my neck anymore? Ow!”

Tabitha had turned over on her back allowing Justin to rub her stomach when she suddenly wrapped her paws around his arm and playfully bit him. She bounded away instantly and started to clean herself.

“You’re right. If I quit, I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you anymore.”

Justin walked across the room and picked Tabitha back up. She mewed in protest. He coaxed her back into his lap and resumed petting her. She purred loudly as his fingers ran through her fur.

_________

Justin groaned as when he heard a knock at the door. There were only a few people who he had shared the network address of his apartment with. Every time he suffered an intruder into his space he was reminded of what the Romans must have felt as the barbarian hordes had sacked their city.

He opened the door and his sister Katherine was standing on the other side of it.

“Hello, Justin.”

“Hello, Katherine,” he said, drawing out the word hello. He turned and went to Tabitha, picking her up without inviting his sister in.

She followed him, adding, “I know that you don’t like it when I show up here.” She looked around his apartment as she said so. “But, you never answer your cell. And if you don’t answer your phone, I can’t get past the gate.”

Justin avoided eye contact with his sister, all of his focus was on his cat.

“Oh, she’s beautiful,” Katherine said as she crossed the room to get a closer look at the cat. “It looks just like the one mom used to have.”

He looked up at her then, with a solemn look on his face. “You want to pet her?” he asked.

“Of course. What’s her name?”

“Tabitha.”

“Tabitha,” she said, rolling the name over with her tongue. “A little school-marmish, but it’ll do.”

She began to pet Tabitha and her eyes lit up. “I’ve never felt anything like this in the network. Justin, this is incredible.”

He smiled at her then, a prideful smile.

“You know,” she said, without looking up. “You know that we all miss you. You weren’t there when mom passed, but no one holds that against you. We miss you, Justin. All of us miss you, and we’d like to see more of you.” She looked up at him, her face full of warmth. “In person. Not just in the network.”

“Tabitha is a great name,” Justin said. “It’s not school-marmish at all.” He sat down with Tabitha on the couch looking like petulant school boy.

Katherine stared at her brother, there was no joy in her face.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you,” he said to her. “I’m sure that you’ve got more important things to do then to stand around here like a wet-nurse.”

“Alright, Justin. I’ll go. I just wanted you to know that we’ve been thinking about you.”

 

At the door she turned around, “And that you are loved.”

He didn’t look up as she left. He was alone again, enraptured by Tabitha’s purring.

_________

“Free will is an illusion, my friends. Traditional religions want us to believe that at the crossroads of every choice we have the ultimate say in what we do. I tell you that is a fallacy. I ask you this question: If God is all-knowing and can see how your life will end, how can that end be something that is changeable? How can you really be free?”

Justin woke to the sound of a man’s voice through the vid screen. He was wearing a black suit with a short collar that reminded him of the vestments of a priest, but the man was easily recognizable as being affiliated with the cult of the Neo-Humanist Revival. It seemed like they were always recruiting people to their cause. Justin was not interested in what they were selling and usually made it a point to shut off their broadcasts at every opportunity.

He didn’t even remember turning on this vid. He only remembered dozing off to Tabitha’s soothing purrs.

She was laying down on the back of the couch with her arms tucked under her. She opened one eye at his stirring and closed it again.

“How long was I out?”

Tabitha gave no reply.

Justin sat up straight, he’d been hunched over. Groggy, he turned off the vid screen and glanced at his watch. He hoped that he’d not slept too long. He’d never fallen asleep in a sim before. He didn’t even think that it was possible. The sim commercials advertised protocols that would stop a person from being able to sleep while connected. The government had done everything possible to make network integration as safe as possible. Many mental health organizations were against full network immersion. There had already been a few deaths connected with extensive network use. In some cases, it became increasingly more difficult for individuals to distinguish reality from the virtual world the longer they stayed connected.

“This is our new existence,” the man on the vid screen was saying. “Network integration allows to assume the form of our Ultimate Self. In the network, we can be anything that we want, and we can feel everything that the crude physical form can feel. This is the Human Revolution, my friends. A world built for the exercise of free will.” As the man finished speaking the view changed to encompass the audience who were giving him a standing ovation.

Justin rose and shambled into the bathroom. He showered, the sound of the water hitting the tub reminded him of applause.

When he stepped out, he saw Tabitha sitting in the middle of the floor, waiting for him. He dried off and started to brush his teeth. She jumped up on the counter and began to paw at him. She showed him her teeth and he ran the toothbrush across the front of her mouth. When he looked at her mouth more closely, he saw that they were human teeth.

Justin jumped, sending Tabitha into the air with protest. Apparently the programmers had not had a complete grasp on the physics of cats landing on their feet. Tabitha began to list in the air. When her body was about to land, it winked out of existence and re-materialized on all four legs, bits of her falling like sand in an hourglass.

He’d been asleep in his living room. Shaken, he translated out of the network.

_________

Justin paced back and forth in his apartment. His sister was on the phone. It was about their mother. He felt like an automaton, like someone else was behind the wheel, driving through well-worn territory.

“The doctors are saying that she doesn’t have much time left. You really should be here, Justin. To say goodbye.”

“Oh, Katherine, I want to. I really do. But when I think about seeing her like that. And after the stroke? She can’t even speak straight anymore. And all of those people there. How do I acknowledge them? Share my grief with them? It’s not theirs, it’s mine.”

“You come because she’s your mother. Because she’s loved you since before you were even born. You owe her that much for all that she’s done for you. And to hell with anyone else. Just be here for her. It’s going to be your last chance and if you miss it, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

“Kat, please stop. I’ll be there. I’ll be there.”

Justin drove to the hospital, getting as far as the hospital parking lot. He sat in the pale light night. After a few moments, his car was bathed in red and blue light as an ambulance drove up into the emergency driveway. Hospital staff rushed out to meet the paramedics. A man and woman spilled out of their car before it came to a complete stop, not far behind the ambulance, but hospital security was on them before they could get far.

There was an argument as neither the man or woman wanted to leave the other. Finally, the man convinced the woman to go inside as he stormed to his car. The woman ran swiftly through the emergency doors. Justin’s eyes began to water when he saw the expression on her face. The man got into his car, slamming his fists in frustration on the steering wheel as he tried to get it started.

Justin turned over the ignition and drove away.

_________

Justin looked up from his fruit punch. He furrowed his brow and tried to focus on the world around him. He was at work. He didn’t remember the drive in.

“Thank you all for attending. I know that Caroline really appreciates all of the love and support that you all are giving her,” the division manager was saying. “She’s been a real asset to this company in the twenty years that she’s served. And we’re sure that she will do well in all of her future endeavors. Give her a hand and help yourselves to some refreshment.”

Justin’s fellow office workers have Caroline a hearty round of applause. Some hooted and whistled. There was a barely audible, “Good luck, Caroline!” from someone in the crowd.  Afterward, the room was filled with the tumult of conversation.

He smiled at a co-worker as he grabbed a piece of cake. At least he would get some enjoyment out of the proceedings. He took his piece and sat in a corner watching the wonderful performances that everyone was giving. The smile on that guy’s face actually looked genuine. Bravo! That woman actually looked like she was interested in the conversation she was having when she was really thinking about the next opportunity she would have to be bent over the copy machine under the care of a kindly technician. On second thought, Justin was having some trouble keeping the chocolate cake down.

The only solace he could take was that this get-together would be over soon and he could return to his desk and be treated to conversations with his favorite customers. If they were lucky, the department would be sent home early due to the festivities.

Justin jumped out of his chair, sending it careening behind him as he saw a furry figure slaloming between the feet of the gathering. When he moved toward it, the figure darted out of the conference room.

_________

“Full Integration,” the man on the vid screen was saying, “is the chance to leave the fleshly world behind and embrace a new heaven. To embrace a new Heaven where the sins of your past are washed away. We can safeguard your Ultimate Self and ensure that you live on for eternity. In your new realm you can create any reality that your heart desires.”

Tabitha jumped into Justin’s lap, landing ever so lightly. She pawed his legs before finally laying down. She looked at him, her eyes fully dilated, deep wells of darkness, black as ink.

“Is that something that you want, Justin?” she asked.

_________

Justin translated back into his apartment. There was a persistent knock at the door.

He opened it to find an apartment community worker at his door.

“I’m sorry sir, but your fellow residents have filed complaints at the front office. They say that they’re hearing the sounds of a pet cat inside of your residence.”

“That’s impossible. Someone is lying. They couldn’t be hearing anything.”

“So, you don’t own a pet?”

“I just got this cat, but she’s a network program. My cat doesn’t really exist. It’s not real.”

“It’s real if everyone else says it does. I’m giving you a notice of entry. We have to do a full investigation. If we find evidence of a pet, I’m afraid that we may have to terminate your rental agreement.”

Justin stood at the door for a few moments trying to wrap his head around the conversation that he just had. He was feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes and began to purr to himself.

_________

Justin’s phone was showing that he had a voice mail message. He knew who it was from. His mother was in the hospital and he’d abandoned her. He listened to it as butterflies filled his stomach. He wished that she would just stop calling him.

Justin, it’s your sister. You know that I hate leaving you messages. But, I guess that I have to hope that you’ll pick up this time.

It’s Mom, Justin. She’s back in the hospital.

It’s back, Justin. And it’s eating her up from the inside. And they’re saying there’s nothing that they can do for her. If only they could tell us what it is that’s killing her. And I’m standing there, by her bedside and I’m trying to keep it together. I’m trying not to lose control in front of Mom, and I’m trying not to break down in front of everyone when I have to pass on the news that our time is limited.

Our time is limited, with her, Justin. It’s been cut short. We’re down to our last ‘tomorrows.’ And no matter how much I want to kick and scream and yell, it can’t be changed.   We need you here.

You should be here. I can’t do this alone. We can’t do this alone.

I hope you listen to this message.

You are loved.

_________

Justin woke up on the couch in his living room to sound of purring and a wet nuzzle at his right cheek. Then there was a nuzzle at his left ear. And around his feet. Then another, and another until he opened his eyes and saw them all.

The floor was swarming with cats, all of them identical to Tabitha. They covered the floor, jumped on counters and tables. They comprised a great writhing mass of fur.

And in the center of the room, holding Tabitha in his arms, was the man from the vids. He was dressed as Justin had seen him, speaking in front of the audience. Now Justin was his audience. He and the myriad of Tabithas who turned to look at him as he spoke.

“Justin!” the man said with a smile, drawing out the word like he was speaking to an old friend that he hadn’t seen for years. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Justin. I know that we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting in person. But, that’s why I decided that I needed to remedy that situation myself.”

Tabitha was laying across one of the man’s arms as he stroked her fur. She didn’t move, but stared at Justin with a steel gaze.

“You have been given a wonderful privilege that very few have been offered. I was hoping that I would be able to persuade you by meeting you face to face, so to speak.”

“That’s impossible,” Justin replied. “We’re in the network. These bodies are not real. You, are not real.”

“That is up for debate, my friend. The fact of the matter is that you are here. At least the most important part of you that makes you, you, is here. And frankly, that’s all the “you” you need. You have the opportunity to be the first of many to take part in a rebirth,” the man said swinging his arm out dramatically. “Freedom from death and suffering. Wash the slate clean.” As he the man took on a kindly fatherly tone.

“But, I went to sleep. This is a dream.”

“How can you tell? Shall we pinch you to see if you wake?”

The cats nearest to Justin began to furiously rub their faces against him. He could feel their teeth against his skin. When the first claws pierced his skin, he tried to scream, but they were all over him. They were suffocating him and tearing his and biting him and he could do nothing except to endure the pain.

_________

“Put that down, Mom,” Justin said. His mother was struggling and out of breath. She was helping him move into his new apartment and she was being stubborn about moving heavy boxes. “You shouldn’t be doing that in your condition.”

“My condition?” she said with exasperation. “I’m alive, aren’t I? The moment that I die is the moment that I stop helping out my baby-boy.”

“I’m hardly a baby, Mom. Here, let me take that from you.”

Justin sat the box down and walked his mother to a chair. She was so much smaller than he remembered her.

“Don’t stare at me! I’m here. I’m all in one piece,” her eyes were very tired, but she fought to bring a smile to her face. She took his face into her hands and kissed him on the forehead. “Well, there you go. You’ve finally grown up and left the nest.”

“It’s about time, I say,” Katherine said as she backed in through the door, boxes in hand. “Justin! A little help!”

He got up and started to take boxes off of the top of her stack.

“You better not be letting mom wear herself out.”

“She’s determined. No matter what I say to her.”

“Oh, leave him alone. And I’m right here, you two! Justin, come here. No, down here.” He bent down on one knee and looked him in the eyes.

“I’m very proud of you. I want you to know that.”

“I know mom.”

“No, listen. When all is said and done, I’m very proud of you. I just want you to be happy. I know that you’re a man now, but sometimes I miss that smiling boy of mine. I hope that I’ve done everything that I could to help. And I wish that I could have been there more. If I had maybe I would have been able to.” She trailed off.

Justin stood up. “I’m fine mom. I’m happy,” he said as he looked away. “I’ve got to finish getting the things off the truck.

“Well, you should think about getting a roommate,” she called after him. “I hate to see you so alone.”

Justin’s mother looked at Katherine. They both shared a look of concern.

“He’ll be fine, mom.”

“Maybe he should get a pet.”

_________

“You’ve got to open up the door, Mr. Carpenter!”

Justin didn’t know how long they’d been at it. They were trying to get into his apartment. They were trying to take Tabitha from him. They couldn’t have her. He couldn’t let them take her from him.

Justin paced around the room trying to find something. He tried to think, but he couldn’t. Holding a thought was like trying to hold a handful of water on a tumultuous sea. He bit his nails as he pace back and forth.

Then the banging stopped. There was talking on the other side of the door. He put his ear against in, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Someone was putting a key into the door. He drew back into hiding, and watched as the deadbolt was turned and then the doorknob was next. He didn’t wait for them to show their face before he pounced on the door. One thin arm was caught and was broken under the force of the heavy door being flung back at them. Then he was on them, tearing at their face and hissing before strong arms pulled him back.

There were tears in his eyes as he translated away.

_________

The monitors were beeping endlessly into the night as Justin’s mother slept in her hospital bed. Her skin was gray and thin, almost transparent.

He took her hand into his. It was so frail, and cold, he couldn’t hold back the tears that fell upon it.

“I made it,” he said to her. “I’m here.”